You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
The Palestinians cannot throw rockets and expect people not to defend themselves — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to make fun of others — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I could stop and live carefully but that's ridiculous. I don't want to live carefully. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
