You don't really have to say much when your headline is 'Drag Queen Robs Burger King.' Sometimes comedy writes itself. — Willie Geist Copy Share Image
Everybody wants to be Doug Stanhope; everybody wants to be Bill Hicks - and those are great people to aim for, but… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
We went to open-mike night at a comedy club called Stanford & Sons and the comics were terrible. My cousin dared me… — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like… — Sherman Alexie Copy Share Image
With most specials, even the best comedians will tell you they could have cut 15 or 20 minutes out of it. — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we've checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist?… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is -… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore;… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I was living under a desk in West Hollywood. It was a closet that I shared with another comic. I was shocked… — Dat Phan Copy Share Image
I can work every day of the year. TV is easy. My call's at 8:30 a.m. I'd like to break out of… — Scott Baio Copy Share Image
“Wit, after all, is a mighty tart, pungent ingredient, and much too acid for some stomachs; but honest good humour is the… — Washington Irving Copy Share Image
A lot of stand-up comedians are actually very insecure, and they come on slightly battling the audience. They want to be the… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
If all you have is satire, your show will close. Even if all you have is comedy, your show will close. The… — Robert Lopez Copy Share Image
I will laugh at the world! Never will I allow myself to become so important, so wise, so dignified, so powerful, that… — Og Mandino Copy Share Image
Scientists may be in the business of laughing at their predecessors, but owing to an array of human mental dispositions, few realize… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
I'm not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can't say… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in… — Jack Dee Copy Share Image
When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
When I come out to do my stand-up set, I pretty much get bombarded with lines from movies. You try to play… — Kevin Heffernan Copy Share Image
Writing 'We Are Never Getting Back Together' was one of the most hilarious experiences I have ever had in the studio because… — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
There is nothing incompatible about laughter and demons, nor about athletic achievement and depression. Mike Flanagan made me laugh, too. But mostly,… — Jane Leavy Copy Share Image
You never want to defend a joke. People get to choose whether or not to laugh and whether or not they think… — Larry Wilmore Copy Share Image
My little joke that I make whenever I talk about my show is that the way I sold the show to Netflix… — Philip Rosenthal Copy Share Image
I did a lot of sitcoms, and being funny isn't about being beautiful. Usually, beautiful people aren't the funny people. — Maura Tierney Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My wife and I take what we call our Friday comedy day off. We watch standup comics on TV. The raunchier the… — Gene Hackman Copy Share Image
Essentially a joke is creating an idea, whether sonic or visual, whether it's something musical or a traditional joke. — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
The audience bursts into laughter. With the tragic gag I don't expect the audience to laugh (if they do, I have failed)… — Jean Cocteau Copy Share Image
What helps you as an actor when it comes to roles is that deeper understanding of so many different fractions of humanity.… — David Koechner Copy Share Image
I'm a huge fan of 'Community'; it's, I think, one of the most brilliant comedy on television and has been for a… — Emma Caulfield Copy Share Image
I feel so fortunate to have been able to work so much, particularly in the horror-thriller genre, but I would love to… — Danielle Panabaker Copy Share Image
Why didn’t you talk about whether women are funny or not? I just felt that by commenting on that in any real… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
Ball-tampering. There, I've said it. Things that shouldn't be said: the judge in the Saddam trial appears to be wearing comedy specs… — Eddie Mair Copy Share Image
To become conscious of what is horrifying and to laugh at it is to become master of that which is horrifying — Eugene Ionesco Copy Share Image
Wit and humor seem to always factor into this - there's a tongue-in-cheek tone you get when you take on a formalist… — Alexander Weinstein Copy Share Image
It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
That older and greater church to which I belong: the church where the oftener you laugh the better, because by laughter only… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
The comedies, the tragedies we see played out on this earth before us, don't last. But we are eternal spirits. These events… — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
There was a point I could have just churned out the spot and spin paintings for ever and laughed all the way… — Damien Hirst Copy Share Image
