Comedy Quotes · Page 267

I really dont find your fucking jokes funny anymore.

— Patience

“Even if you fail or do something stupid, if you can laugh in the end, that's all that matters.”

— Kei Kanai

Evolution is a laughing matter for anybody that's got a rational mind.

— Merle Haggard

No day can be so sacred but that the laugh of a little child will make it holier still

— Robert Green Ingersoll

I'm not really a comedian, innit; I just naturally say things which people class as funny.

— Big Narstie

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.

— Lou Holtz

Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth.

— Mark Van Doren

I need my comedy to offend. That's my personal views.

— John Cho

I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a comedian who stole except for when it's been in anger.

— Matt Besser

What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they're going…

— Paul Feig

“Humour is the best weapon to fight any battle. But there is a thin line between humour and humiliation and beware not…

— Girish Kohli

During my theatre days, I was more comfortable doing comedy. It's such an irony. I have always played a buffoon on stage,…

— Randeep Hooda

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. If it's a sock puppet, if…

— Tig Notaro

A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity…

— Zach Braff

Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.

— John Oliver

I'm a pretty tenacious person; I get that from my mom. So sometimes, I use dark humor. I can't take myself too…

— Art Alexakis

With comedy, you get an immediate response. I'm the whole kit and the kaboodle. I am the whole thing and can steer…

— Joe Torry

I worked at comedy clubs - if I can use the term 'work' - for several years. I middled at one point.…

— Bill Nye

I've always thought that Lewis Carroll himself had a certain comedy tinge to him. He was a guy who was a satirist.…

— James Bobin

I don't have anything saying, 'I'm going to do this many new films, and this many comedies.' But, it's always exciting for…

— Ashley Greene

But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people,…

— Jimmy Carr

I'm interested not just in projects that I'll be starring in, but producing film and TV that's really quality and great for…

— Lance Reddick

“When men were ready to marry, look out. Their evolution busted out all over. They nabbed the closest female hanging out near…

— Gale Martin

When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it…

— Steve Martin

Comedy and I were never strangers, it's just that I was doing a lot of drama.

— Andre Braugher

“Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey”

— Amunhotep El Bey

If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny. I'm a clownfish. -Marlin

— Finding Nemo

I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.

— Kathleen Madigan

The way you get through having a shitty job is to laugh a lot and goof around.

— John C. Reilly

A little humour is good for the soul - regardless of how old you may be.

— Richard Branson

When someone doesn't have a sense of humour, it kills me.

— Johanna Konta

I enjoy humour more than anything, I don't really sit around banging my head and crying all the time.

— Joaquin Phoenix

Real religion is the transformation of anxiety into laughter.

— Alan Watts

Only one who has achieved immortality of awareness can laugh with life and laugh with death.

— Frederick Lenz

I pride myself on making my comedy for everybody. It's not for a specific demographic.

— Matt Rife

“Come on you target for faraway laughter. Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!”

— Pink Floyd

With comedy, a lot of people develop their sense of humor as a defense mechanism.

— Judd Apatow

If you watch the arcs of so many comedians, at some point, they just become themselves.

— Judd Apatow

There are so many really good comedians, and I would never be as good as they are. It's not my calling.

— Paul Rudd

Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is.

— Douglas Coupland