People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny,… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny,… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
I found out about Jonathan Winters death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share
