Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs; next thing you know, I'm… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don't smoke pot think it's… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much pot, I'm not going to get mad at them, because… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost as open about it as I am, and in some… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
My parents took me to that I think is just one of those near-perfect comedies is Young Frankenstein. Gene Wilder and Mel… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
There was always, along the way in my career, as more and more I made marijuana a part of my act and… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
The thing that still exists is that if it's at all possible for me to step outside the club after the show,… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Since my act is a goofy reflection of what's going on in my life, I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Obviously, you take the risk to step over the line any time you do something where comedians interact with each other. Like… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard… — Doug Benson Copy Share
It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy. — Doug Benson Copy Share
The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads. — Doug Benson Copy Share
I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it. — Doug Benson Copy Share
Big deal... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs. — Doug Benson Copy Share
Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for… — Doug Benson Copy Share
A talking dog is not the answer. That's not a way to convince people not to smoke pot. If animals started talking to me,… — Doug Benson Copy Share
I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a… — Doug Benson Copy Share
I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man. — Doug Benson Copy Share
Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you. — Doug Benson Copy Share
People come to me with ideas for shows, and I certainly am thinking of stuff all the time. And it's always like, you know,… — Doug Benson Copy Share
There was always, along the way in my career, as more and more I made marijuana a part of my act and my life,… — Doug Benson Copy Share
My parents took me to that I think is just one of those near-perfect comedies is Young Frankenstein. Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks, they're… — Doug Benson Copy Share
