Latest husband & wife sms jokes collection (urdu & english)
A husband lying in bed next to his large wife poses a philosophical question about how to go — and instantly regrets the answer.
Ek admi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi se bola
k sisak sisak ke marna theek hai ya ek dum.
BIWI : Ek dum.
Aadmi : To apni dusri tang bhi mujh per rakh do.
A husband carrying his wife's coffin explains a dog bit her; the long queue of men behind him are all waiting to borrow that dog.
Husband apni wife ka janaza le ker ja raha tha.
Janazay k aag 1 kutta or pche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
Ek aadmi aakar pochta he,"Bhai yeh sab howa kaise?"
Husband: Is kutte ne kaat liya tha meri biwi ko...
Aadmi: Yeh kutta ek din k liye mujhey dedo
Husband: peeche line mein lag jao...
Wife tells her travelling husband she's already lost half her weight missing him; his reply is to wait another two weeks.
Wife: Main tumhari yaad mein
15 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hun,
mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao...
A husband justifies hitting his wife by saying you only hurt the ones you love. She hits him back twice — to prove she loves him too.
Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife
se Husband bola:
"Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai."
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli "Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti"
A blind beggar calls a woman beautiful and asks for money. Husband's verdict: he must genuinely be blind.
A beggar- 'Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
"Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai..."
A man posts 'need a wife' on Facebook and 140 men jump in to help — not quite in the spirit he intended.
A guy wrote on his facebook status
"wife chahiye "
2 girls likd it & 140 men commented"
meri le jaa"
Guy wrote back
"kameeno, maang nahi raha. pooch raha hon...
A wife asks to be taken somewhere to buy something expensive for her birthday — and the husband fulfills the request precisely.
Wife:Bht pyar sey
"Suniye! aj meri birthday ha,
Mujhy koi Mehngi C Cheez Ley K Dain Naa Plz"
Hsbnd: Chalo Tm
Tayyar Ho Jao,
"Hm Cheeni Lenay Chaltey Hy".
Wife confronts husband about the insults he muttered in his sleep; his defence is that she misunderstood — that he was asleep.
Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..
Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha
A wife in an argument tells her husband his brain is full of cow dung, and his comeback is completely deadpan.
Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!
Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho….??
Husband asks wife who she is; when she protests he'd forgotten her, he says alcohol erases every sorrow.
Husband - tum kon hoo
Biwi - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye
HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai
A husband figures the neighbors' wives will at least show real emotion at his funeral, and makes his arrangements accordingly.
Husband: jab men mar jaon to
hamary samny walon ko zaror bulana...
Wife: wo Q?
Husband: Q k unki auraten murdy
say lipat lipat kr roti hen...
A wife's theological question about why husbands don't get their wives in paradise leads straight to her husband's most comfortable answer yet.
Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband
k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete
HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
Wife: aisa kion?
Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to
usey jannat kehte hain