Believe Quote by W. C. Fields

“If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.”

W. C. Fields

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Believe Church Found Ifs Joining Knocking Might

More by W. C. Fields

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

W. C. Fields

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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

W. C. Fields

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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.

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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake…

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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

W. C. Fields

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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

W. C. Fields

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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

W. C. Fields

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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

W. C. Fields

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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.

W. C. Fields

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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

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Explore all 221 W. C. Fields quotes

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I can't believe that I'm sitting in meetings with Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Annette Bening. I want to take on that responsibility to…

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There is no such word as item girl in the dictionary. People have created this word and I don't believe that I am an…

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I understand that it's the music that keeps me alive... That's my lifeblood. And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars, the houses - that's not the American dream. That's the booby prize, in the end. Those are the booby prizes. And if you fall for them - if, when you achieve them, you believe that this…

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