"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up……" — Rita Rudner
"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."
More Bathroom Quotes
- In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop. — Robert Benchley
- Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. — Candice Bergen
- When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog… — Erma Bombeck
- My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded… — Erma Bombeck
- At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. — George Carlin
- My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and… — Robert Carlyle
- The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. — Arthur C. Clarke
- Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to… — Tom Coburn
- The knives in my apartment are only sharp enough to open envelopes with. Cutting a slice of coarse bread is… — Peter Høeg
- They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom. — Robin Ince
- The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when… — Neville Cardus
- Hollywood is a coke town, but weed is so much better. And Molly, too; those are happy drugs - social… — Miley Cyrus