Toilet Seat Quotes

24 Toilet Seat quotes by 15 unique authors

I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat. — Nate Dogg
Im shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I wont sit on a toilet seat on a plane. Im… — Farrah Fawcett
Don't get me started on cold toilet seats. — Zach Braff
You're asking the government to control individual morality. This is a government that can't buy a toilet seat for under $600. — Peter McWilliams
Eric Schmidt looks innocent enough, with his watercolor blue eyes and his tiny office full of toys and his Google campus stocked with volleyball courts… — Maureen Dowd
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and… — Rita Rudner
All that matters to me is the man in front of me right now. (Tory) I’m not a man, Soteria. (Acheron) I know. But if… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Tell me something, Adron. Sometime you’ve never shared with anyone else. Not even Thia. (Livia) I’m the one who glued Zarina to the toilet seat… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would… — Joanne Kathleen Rowling
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum. — Joanne Kathleen Rowling
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat! — Joanne Kathleen Rowling
Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat. — J D Salinger
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. — Rob Delaney
You know it's true love when you find youself saying sweet things you never imagined you'd say like baby, I warmed the toilet seat for… — Nikhil Saluja
Leaving hairs on a toilet seat is like a little gift, from one ass to another. — Nikhil Saluja
The worst part about shitting in a public restroom, is when the tip of your dick touches the toilet seat. — Nikhil Saluja
Capitalism is just a shit covered toilet seat with burritos on it. — Jeremy Limn
Ive got more ass then a toilet seat — Unknown Author
I believe your friends Mr. Fred and George Weasly tried to send you a toilet seat. — Harry Potter - Albus Dumbledore
That moment when you go into a stall and there is no toilet seat protector, so you use toilet paper and then when you sit… — Unknown Author
I flew back just in time to pick up a toilet seat for my girlfriend. It didn't go over that well. I thought, 'It's a… — Ben Affleck
A Woman Never Say: Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore. — Nikhil Saluja
Amazing Home Remedies: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. — Nikhil Saluja
Never trust a warm toilet seat in a public restroom — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Toilet Seat Quotes

15 authors contributed a total of 24 Toilet Seat Quotes as follows: