Collapse Quote by Red Skelton

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

— Henny Youngman

I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and…

— Joan Rivers

“Be certain to limit your exposure to negative people and environments.”

— Asa Don Brown

I was watching Maury Povich the other day. He had these people on who say that they've had near death experiences. Do you ever…

— Carol Leifer

I love my family. I came home the other days. My brother's passed-out on the couch, holding an empty bottle of sleeping pills. So…

— Emo Philips

“first responders are usually not the law-enforcement officers or the paramedics that follow them, but the ordinary citizens who happen to be on the…

— Chris Bird

A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big…

— Henny Youngman

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

— Steven Wright

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

— Warren Ellis

The paramedic whispered in my ear 'God will never leave you or forsake you.'

— Bethany Hamilton

It's kind of a unique concept, but it's totally real, isn't it? ... I mean, these paramedics put themselves in incredibly stressful situations, are…

— Nicolas Cage

Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

— Bob Hope