"I would imagine that if you could understand……" — Mitch Hedberg
"I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Code Quotes
This quote is filed under Code Quotes,
one of 864 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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We worked on solving the problem of voice communications in a noisy military environment. We established military codes that are…
— M H Abrams
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You do not know our culture, our ethics, or the unwritten codes that already provide our society more order than…
— John Perry Barlow
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Language is legislation, speech is its code. We do not see the power which is in speech because we forget…
— Roland Barthes
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I beg you, look for the words 'social justice' or 'economic justice' on your church Web site. If you find…
— Glenn Beck
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Theosophy has no code of morals, being itself the embodiment of the highest morality; it presents to its students the…
— Annie Besant
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The biggest empty space, the biggest gap in what should be a premier and always vibrant food scene in America…
— Anthony Bourdain
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I'm somebody who likes codes and ciphers and chases and artwork and architecture, and all the things you find in…
— Dan Brown
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My sincere hope is that 'The Da Vinci Code,' in addition to entertaining people, will serve as an open door…
— Dan Brown
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I cannot help thinking that the menace of Hell makes as many devils as the severe penal codes of inhuman…
— Lord Byron
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We need to lower tax rates for everybody, starting with the top corporate tax rate. We need to simplify the…
— Herman Cain
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That's the biggest problem, is the tax code itself.
— Herman Cain
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The 9-9-9 plan would resuscitate this economy because it replaces the outdated tax code that allows politicians to pick winners…
— Herman Cain
See all 864 Code Quotes »