"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but……" — Mitch Hedberg
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Blowing Quotes
This quote is filed under Blowing Quotes,
one of 452 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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If you're against globalisation, it doesn't achieve much by sort of bombing the head offices of Shell or Nestle. You…
— J. G. Ballard
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Some day science may have the existence of mankind in power, and the human race can commit suicide by blowing…
— Henry Adams
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Blowing up buses will not induce the Israelis to move forward, and neither will the killing of Palestinians or the…
— Abdallah II
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My dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids' parties.
— Gary Busey
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A new breeze is blowing, and a world refreshed by freedom seems reborn; for in man's heart, if not in…
— George H. W. Bush
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any…
— Dennis Miller
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The breeze of grace is always blowing; set your sail to catch that breeze.
— Ramakrishna
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What an indulgence it would be, to just blow off my head, all my mean spirits disappearing with a gun…
— Gillian Flynn
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He [Stephen Douglas] is blowing out the moral lights around us, when he contends that whoever wants slaves has a…
— Abraham Lincoln
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Getting in shape for this role, which is incredibly demanding, vocally, has been a lot of hard work, but I'm…
— David Hasselhoff
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Smoking is a shocking thing - blowing smoke out of our mouths into other people's mouths, eyes, and noses, and…
— Samuel Johnson
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A Buddha is not a man of concentration, he is a man of awareness. He has not been trying to…
— Rajneesh
See all 452 Blowing Quotes »