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Date Quote by Melissa Febos

“We kissed for two hours. Eventually, I led him into my bedroom and pulled off both of our shirts. He stopped me. "This might sound weird; it's not typical guy response." I froze, suddenly awkward. "I mean, if I didn't feel the way I do with you I would be all for it, but I kind of think maybe it…” quote by Melissa Febos
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““We kissed for two hours. Eventually, I led him into my bedroom and pulled off both of our shirts. He stopped me. "This might sound weird; it's not typical guy response." I froze, suddenly awkward. "I mean, if I didn't feel the way I do with you I would be all for it, but I kind of think maybe it would be good to wait. I've rushed into sex, and had it be a mistake." He shrugged apologetically. "I mean, if it's safe to assume you are experiencing the same date that I am, then I think we will have time." I was a little flabbergasted and more than a little embarrassed. How could I explain that the idea sounded like a huge relief to me, that I didn't quite understand where the impulse to start taking my clothes off came from? I had had the same experience. I rarely enjoyed first-time sex with partners, largely because I usually did it before I really knew or trusted them. Here was where the difference between what I knew and did remained wide. The shame I felt wash over me was tinged with that hatred of my own innocence. Was I still so green? So unconfident? Had I gone straight out of the extremity of sex work to the innocence of my adolescence? Where was my self-knowledge? Still, I was relieved. "Of course. I agree totally." I clutched my T-shirt to my chest and smiled at him. "And yes, I am on the same date you are on." "I thought so," he said. "I mean, I don't think you can feel like this when it's not reciprocal." He left at 2:00 A.M. and called me at 11:00 the next morning to schedule our second date.””

Melissa Febos

About This Quote

Source Interview: The Longest Shortest Time Podcast, Melissa Febos, 2019

Navigating intimacy requires respecting personal boundaries and recognizing the need for emotional readiness before sexual intimacy.

In simple terms: Take time to ensure mutual readiness before intimacy.

Key Takeaway

Prioritize consent and emotional safety.

Themes

relationships boundaries consent self-awareness

Mood

thoughtful empathetic

Type

advisory conversational

When to use this quote

  • first dates
  • new relationships
  • sexual encounters

Key Concepts

Sexual ethics emotional intelligence communication skills

Questions to Reflect On

  • What signals indicate you’re ready for intimacy?
  • How can you communicate boundaries gently?
A Different Perspective

Pressure to rush intimacy can cause regret and shame.

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