Hope for the future Quote by Lundy Bancroft
““There are two main principles to keep in mind when deciding how much potential an abuser has to become a kind, respectful partner in the long run: 1. He cannot change unless he deals deeply with his entitled and superior attitudes. No superficial changes that he may make offer any real hope for the future. 2. It makes no different how nice he is being to you, since almost all abusers have nice periods. What matters is how respectful and non coercive he chooses to become.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Abusive Relationship Handbook, 2019
Effective change in abusive partners requires deep self‑examination of entitlement; superficial niceness is unreliable, so true respect must be cultivated from within.
In simple terms: Abusers must confront entitlement, not just act nice.
Key Takeaway
Seek partners who demonstrate genuine respect.
Themes
relationships
abuse
personal growth
respect
Mood
cautious
analytical
Type
advice
warning
When to use this quote
- dating
- therapy
- relationship counseling
- self‑assessment
Key Concepts
psychology
behavioral change
ethical partnership
Questions to Reflect On
- Can you identify genuine respect versus temporary niceness?
- What boundaries will you set?
A Different Perspective
Change is difficult without willingness; not all partners will change.
![“Our best hope for the future [...] lies in an appreciation of the fact that, even if we don’t empathize with distant strangers, their lives have the same value as the lives of those we love.” quote by Paul Bloom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/630/paul-bloom-3720_appreciation_our-best-hope-for-the-future-lies-in-an_177200.jpg)
