Quote by Kanye West

“After donning a condom,”

— Elle Casey

I've heard the sound of 70 condoms being scraped over the floor at the British Museum. It feels like being an adventurer. Why would…

— Herbert

It was a mistake, I should have worn a condom.

— Sara Quin

“When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, “You want me to wear a condom?!”

— Jarod Kintz

Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.

— Anonymous

“I wore rubber gloves. Why? Because I ran out of condoms.
”

— Jarod Kintz

The first thought that goes through my mind, right after I close the bedroom door, and right before I put on a condom is,

— Anonymous

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

— Jack Benny

I was so drunk the whole time that I took bottles for girls and girls for bottles.

— Anton Chekhov

I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety.

— Richard Pryor

“Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there.”

— Alyxandra Harvey

I came from dinner, went downtown with my friends, the elevator was down, I ran down the hall toward my room at 10 at…

— Jill Clayburgh