"I am originally from Indiana. I know what……" — Jim Gaffigan
"I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana - mafia."
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Jim Gaffigan
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99 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan has 99 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great…
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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your…
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
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Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
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Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.
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It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how…
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get…
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If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?
See all 99 quotes by Jim Gaffigan »
More From Quotes
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Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from which changes of mind might naturally…
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No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our…
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Man cannot be free if he does not know that he is subject to necessity, because his freedom is always…
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Aside from a handful of guys boxing is missing the good trainers, that's why our sport is so in the…
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From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me.
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As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people…
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Haiti, Haiti, the further I am from you, the less I breathe. Haiti, I love you, and I will love…
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In 1994, when I went back to Haiti from exile, we established a Commission for Truth and Justice and Reconciliation.…
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Sometimes people who want to understand Haiti from a political perspective may be missing part of the picture. They also…
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Men of sense often learn from their enemies. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the…
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At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.
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