"If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet……" — Jack Handey
"If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn't get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
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More Ancient Quotes
This quote is filed under Ancient Quotes,
one of 1,413 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our…
— Hannah Arendt
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Myths can't be translated as they did in their ancient soil. We can only find our own meaning in our…
— Margaret Atwood
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The same thing which is now called Christian religion existed among the ancients. They have begun to call 'Christian' the…
— Saint Augustine
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Because we can't escape our ancient hunger to live close to nature, we encircle the house with lawns and gardens,…
— Diane Ackerman
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In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar…
— Enid Bagnold
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Beauty is the disinterested one, without which the ancient world refused to understand itself, a word which both imperceptibly and…
— Hans Urs von Balthasar
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The number of stressors has multiplied exponentially: traffic, money, success, work/life balance, the economy, the environment, parenting, family conflict, relationships,…
— Andrew Bernstein
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In English we must use adjectives to distinguish the different kinds of love for which the ancients had distinct names.
— Mortimer Adler
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The care of the Earth is our most ancient and most worthy, and after all our most pleasing responsibility. To…
— Wendell Berry
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My own life in India, since I came to it in 1893 to make it my home, has been devoted…
— Annie Besant
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Britons are good, though often brutal, colonists where they come into relations with entirely uncivilized tribes whose past is so…
— Annie Besant
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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
— Ambrose Bierce
See all 1,413 Ancient Quotes »