"The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign.……" — George Carlin

"The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch."

— George Carlin

546 Quotes by George Carlin

George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »

More Air Travel Quotes

This quote is filed under Air Travel Quotes, one of 51 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

English grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based… — Bill Bryson
Why does a tragedy like 9/11 change everything about air travel, but numerous gun massacres CHANGE NOTHING? — Justine Bateman
Air travel efficiency would improve if more travelers started going to less popular places. — Dan Quayle
My Christmas present to myself each year is to see how much air travel can open up the world and… — Pico Iyer
The glamour of air travel - its aspirational meaning in the public imagination - disappeared before its luxury did, dissipating… — Virginia Postrel
It was over in a blink of an eye, that moment when aviation stirred the modern imagination. Aviation was transformed… — George Will
Every time we hit an air pocket and the plane dropped about five hundred feet (leaving my stomach in my… — Erica Jong
Air travel reminds us who we are. It's the means by which we recognize ourselves as modern. The process removes… — Don DeLillo
There is no reason why we shouldn't be able to split an infinitive, any more than we should forsake instant… — Bill Bryson
A world with a sudden limit on air travel would be tremendously different from the one we live in now. — Charles C. Mann
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked… — Bob Hope
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. — Bob Hope

See all 51 Air Travel Quotes »

"The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign.……" — George Carlin

Related Quotes

546 Quotes by George Carlin

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