"I noticed that all the prayers I used……" — George Carlin

"I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same...so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself..."

— George Carlin

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546 Quotes by George Carlin

George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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This quote is filed under All Quotes, one of 128,558 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from which changes of mind might naturally… — Hannah Arendt
No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our… — Hannah Arendt
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The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes… — Hannah Arendt
Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of… — Hannah Arendt
We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and… — Hannah Arendt
I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is… — Pietro Aretino
We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
The spirit of Ubuntu, that once led Haiti to emerge as the first independent black nation in 1804, helped Venezuela,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life. — Aristophanes
A friend to all is a friend to none. — Aristotle

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