Child Quote by Gabor Maté
““If development unfolds optimally and the child makes headway in becoming her own person, the need for attachment wanes. As it does, the maturing child will be even more sensitive to coercion and even less amenable to being bossed around. Such a child will feel demeaned when treated as if he or she does not have his own thoughts and opinions, boundaries, values and goals, decisions and aspirations. She will resist adamantly when not acknowledged as a separate person. Again, this is a good thing. Counterwill is serving the purpose of protecting the child against becoming an extension of anyone else, even the parent. It helps to deliver an autonomous, emergent, independent being, full of vitality and able to function outside of attachments.””
About This Quote
Source Book: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, 2008
When children develop autonomy, they become sensitive to coercion and resist being controlled, which protects their individuality.
In simple terms: Independence makes kids resist being bossed.
Key Takeaway
Support children's autonomy to foster healthy independence.
Themes
parenting
autonomy
psychology
development
Mood
thoughtful
hopeful
Type
psychological
parenting
When to use this quote
- Parent‑child counseling
- educational workshops
- family meetings
Key Concepts
independent self
boundary setting
resistance to control
Questions to Reflect On
- How can parents respect a child's autonomy?
- What signs show a child feels controlled?
A Different Perspective
Balancing guidance with freedom is challenging.
