Abuse-survivors Quote by Judith Lewis Herman
““In this climate of profoundly disrupted relationships the child faces a formidable developmental task. She must find a way to form primary attachments to caretakers who are either dangerous or, from her perspective, negligent. She must find a way to develop a sense of basic trust and safely with caretakers who are untrustworthy and unsafe. She must develop a sense of self in relation to others who are helpless, uncaring or cruel. She must develop a capacity for bodily self-regulation in an environinent in which her body is at the disposal of others' needs as well as a capacity for self-soothing in an environment without solace. She must develop the capacity for initiative in an environment which demands that she bring her will into complete conformity with that of her abuser. And ultimately, she must develop a capacity for intimacy out of an environment where all intimate relationships are corrupt, and an identity out of an environment which defines her as a whore and a slave.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Trauma and Recovery, 1992
Children in abusive settings must develop trust, self‑regulation, identity, and intimacy despite severe relational harm.
In simple terms: Abused children must build basic trust and self‑esteem in unsafe environments.
Support healing by fostering safe, consistent relationships.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- social work
- psychotherapy
- education
- policy making
- community support
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- What safe spaces can be created for such children?
- How can caregivers rebuild trust?
Healing is limited by ongoing abuse and lack of safe caregivers.