"I don't have a kid, but I think……" — Eugene Mirman
"I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking."
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Eugene Mirman
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18 Quotes by Eugene Mirman
Eugene Mirman has 18 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or…
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Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks…
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High School: Oh, man. This is where boys and girls go from tweens to teens and become complicated and cruel.…
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On a quick side note, I would argue that--much like Samuel L. Jackson--I am not arrogant at all; I'm just…
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Of course, to avoid getting stuck in that convo with someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable around, don't be passive,…
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Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
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If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.
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God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.
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Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people.…
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I saw this huge billboard that said: 'Abortion Hurts' and then it had a drawing of a butterfly. Who is…
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What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie…
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If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.
See all 18 quotes by Eugene Mirman »
More Baby Quotes
This quote is filed under Baby Quotes,
one of 5,122 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Apart from anything else, I am designed by evolution, like we all are: if we see a little thing like…
— David Attenborough
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her…
— Enid Bagnold
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There is a 'sanctity' involved with bringing a child into this world: it is better than bombing one out of…
— James A. Baldwin
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I talked about adopting a baby when I was 20 years old, before it became 'hip.'
— Tyra Banks
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It's not like I want to hop on a bandwagon, because I said it 15 years ago - bringing a…
— Tyra Banks
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It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why…
— Dave Barry
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you…
— Dave Barry
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I feel like some of my baby fat is going away, and that's not just physically, it's psychologically. I think…
— Drew Barrymore
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There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy…
— Charles Baudelaire
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I have no TV, thank God. I haven't heard anything about Tom Cruise, except that he had a baby, I…
— Emmanuelle Beart
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
— Milton Berle
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Having a baby takes so much from you. It's the most glorious thing you'll ever do, but the aftermath is…
— Halle Berry
See all 5,122 Baby Quotes »