"If no one figures out you are pretending……" — Eugene Mirman
"If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure."
—
Eugene Mirman
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
18 Quotes by Eugene Mirman
Eugene Mirman has 18 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked…
-
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or…
-
Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks…
-
High School: Oh, man. This is where boys and girls go from tweens to teens and become complicated and cruel.…
-
On a quick side note, I would argue that--much like Samuel L. Jackson--I am not arrogant at all; I'm just…
-
Of course, to avoid getting stuck in that convo with someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable around, don't be passive,…
-
Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
-
If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.
-
God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.
-
Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people.…
-
I saw this huge billboard that said: 'Abortion Hurts' and then it had a drawing of a butterfly. Who is…
-
What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie…
See all 18 quotes by Eugene Mirman »
More Figures Quotes
This quote is filed under Figures Quotes,
one of 2,652 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
We must no more ask whether the soul and body are one than ask whether the wax and the figure…
— Aristotle
-
I figure the faster I pedal, the faster I can retire.
— Lance Armstrong
-
It is vital that there is a narrator figure whom people believe. That's why I never do commercials. If I…
— David Attenborough
-
On two occasions I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the…
— Charles Babbage
-
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it 'content.'
— Lauren Bacall
-
Sarah Palin is a compelling political figure.
— Michele Bachmann
-
I really believe that all of us have a lot of darkness in our souls. Anger, rage, fear, sadness. I…
— Kevin Bacon
-
I'm a woman who has gone through many heartaches, enough to dedicate my whole life to trying to figure them…
— Erykah Badu
-
No one can figure out your worth but you.
— Pearl Bailey
-
We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs.…
— Philip James Bailey
-
A skillful playwright might have a good time with the story of the assassination of President William McKinley, and especially…
— Russell Baker
-
I always figure hey, look, I'm not a rock star, I'm an actor. I'm somebody who's meant to be other…
— Christian Bale
See all 2,652 Figures Quotes »