Bits Quote by David Spade

I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him…

— David Spade

“I’d tell her to come over at 10 A.M. and she’d roll in at 10:45 with a Starbucks going “The fucking 405 was nuts…

— David Spade

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

— David Spade

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer…

— David Spade

A friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant.

— David Spade

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

— David Spade

I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

— David Spade

I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

— David Spade

To be famous and broke is hard.

— David Spade

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

— David Spade

On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

— David Spade

I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

— David Spade