Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch. — David Spade Copy Share Image
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those. — David Spade Copy Share Image
I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the… — David Spade Copy Share Image
It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not… — David Spade Copy Share Image
No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in… — David Spade Copy Share Image
When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life… — David Spade Copy Share Image
Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to… — David Spade Copy Share Image
I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in… — David Spade Copy Share Image
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make… — David Spade Copy Share Image
I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him… — David Spade Copy Share Image
“I’d tell her to come over at 10 A.M. and she’d roll in at 10:45 with a Starbucks going “The fucking 405 was nuts… — David Spade Copy Share Image
My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators. — David Spade Copy Share Image
Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer… — David Spade Copy Share Image
A friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant. — David Spade Copy Share Image
Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good. — David Spade Copy Share Image
On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week. — David Spade Copy Share Image
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those. — David Spade Copy Share Image
