« All Why Quotes · Stephen Colbert's Page
Why Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
- Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
- We all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement his brilliant plan…
- If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
- That’s why our TVs are brimming with so much hot man-on-pan action. You can’t channel surf for long without seeing turkey getting stuffed over and…
- And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me…
- The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four…
- If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
- Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.
- I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
- It's clear that when we're this outnumbered by the creatures, we have to take a page from the British Empire and rule the lesser species…
- Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's why I never apologize to my mirror.
- I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I…
- Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable.…
- So, if I'm no cheerleader of sports, why write a chapter about it? Sports do have some positive impact on society. They solve problems, such…
- Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get…
- ...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
More Why Quotes
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- If someone is mad at you and you have no idea why, that means they are crazy. Or a girl. — Nikhil Saluja
- Aside from a handful of guys boxing is missing the good trainers, that's why our sport is so in the air now… — Alexis Arguello
- Why can't I just tell you how I feel? That you're constantly on my mind...that I'm crazy about you. Maybe it's because… — Superman
- I began writing at the age of 5, but there was a dark period between the ages of 8 and 16 when… — Margaret Atwood
- You looked into my eyes and whispered that you wanted to be with me, all my heart wanted to do was say… — Superman
- That's why I began doing makeup in the first place: I was hoping that through helping people see the beauty in themselves,… — Kevyn Aucoin
- Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve some bold adventure, worthy of our trip. — Aristophanes