« All Us Quotes · Stephen Colbert's Page
Us Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
- We all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement his brilliant plan…
- Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America-we continue to rise and rise, like dough, until Jesus bakes us in the fiery Afterscape…
- And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word-police, the 'wordanistas' over at Websters, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's…
- And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me…
- I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to…
- If I thought I knew what was going to happen, it wouldn't be worth doing. The challenge is how joyfully, with what sense of fun…
- You can change the world. Please don't do that, OK? Some of us like the way things are going now.
- I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.
- If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
- Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics.…
- Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection…
- If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish…
- Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
- You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.
More Us Quotes
- Sometimes I think that life would be how much easier if we don't have heart. Because it is the heart which puts… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- It is the people closest to us, that are capable of hurting us most. — Nishan Panwar
- It is just that we should be grateful, not only to those with whose views we may agree, but also to those… — Aristotle
- Our efforts are not aimed at isolating Israel or de-legitimizing it; rather we want to gain legitimacy for the cause of the… — Mahmoud Abbas
- Creation is not a property, which we can rule over at will; or, even less, is the property of only a few:… — Pope Francis
- Life may burn us, it's how we rise out of the ashes that define our character. — Nishan Panwar
- Dreams are what keep us going when real life lets us down. — Nishan Panwar
- I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or… — Pietro Aretino