« All Told Quotes · Nikhil Saluja's Page
Told Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
- Ladies: when your parents told you as a child don't spit honey, it's not lady like. Those same rules apply to blowjobs too.
- My friend just told me indirectly that I wasn't human. He was like all humans make mistakes :(
- This guy told me that playing the guitar is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone's…
- I'm really bad at recognizing acronyms. Today this teenager told me 'YOLO' and I took it as 'chop me into little pieces with a screwdriver'.
- If you're told you only have six months to live, immediately get married. It will make those six months seem like eternity.
- I start remembering all the times you told me you loved me and all the moments you took my breath away.
- A wise man once told me... always believe on your wife choices.
- My GirlFriend told me that she want me to act a little more like her father. So I fucked her mom.
- They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
- Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat.
- My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds.
- He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet.
- My best friend told me about a great 80's porn site. I fucking hope he meant the 1980's.
- My wife just told me, You're fucking idiot considering as she's the only woman I love, then yes, it's a fair assumption.
- Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House?
- The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks... So now I have to sit down when I pee.
- Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm glad she believes…
- They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.
- I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in…
- Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, I was wrong. And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of…
- The doctor asked me how much I drink and I told her it depends on how much money I have.
- My dentist told me I have a lot of cavities. If by cavities he means girls then yes, I have a lot of them.
- I'm shocked at the number of people telling me to get a life. I mean, who told them that I don't have one?
- Some guy told me that girls like a guy with some sexual experience. So I sucked a bunch of dicks.
- I've been staring at my Smart Phone for so long, I'm pretty sure it just told me to get a fucking life.
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- (On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Being dyslexic, I was told that I was an idiot all the time. — David Bailey
- I am not responsible for all the journalists in the past that have told lies. — David Bailey
- I don't think acting is addictive. If I stopped acting tomorrow, I really wouldn't care. If you told me that I would… — Alec Baldwin
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- A rich man told me recently that a liberal is a man who tells other people what to do with their money. — Amiri Baraka
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