Silly Quotes

1456 quotes by 1050 authors

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. — Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. — Groucho Marx
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook. — Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. — Groucho Marx
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. — Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. — Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. — Groucho Marx
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. — Groucho Marx
Room service? Send up a larger room. — Groucho Marx
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. — Groucho Marx
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? — Groucho Marx
I like giving people something they don't want to miss the next time. It's a show with little twists and turns and curves. It has… — John Mayer
If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home. — James A. Michener
I don't know why people question the academic training of an athlete. Fifty percent of the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half… — Al McGuire
I noticed there were so many people, especially women, who would come up to me having recognized me from TV and say, 'I heard you… — Danica McKellar
Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. — H. L. Mencken
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. — Spike Milligan
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. — Spike Milligan
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else… — Christopher Morley
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. — Christopher Morley

Who Wrote These Silly Quotes

1,050 authors contributed a total of 1,456 Silly Quotes, led by these top contributors: