"Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a…" — Groucho Marx
"Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse."
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Groucho Marx
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287 Quotes by Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx has 287 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Home is where you hang your head.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like…
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy…
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and…
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I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the…
See all 287 quotes by Groucho Marx »
More Crazy Quotes
This quote is filed under Crazy Quotes,
one of 4,361 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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North Korea is not an insane nation. It is not a crazy nation.
— Richard Armitage
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How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
— Marcus Aurelius
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I'm bipolar, but I'm not crazy, and I never was. I'm stark raving sane.
— Emilie Autumn
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I still get crazy once in a while, but just less crazy.
— Sebastian Bach
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded…
— Douglas Adams
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I think people think Jim Carrey's just wild and crazy. He really is very disciplined. It is true of Eddie…
— Christine Baranski
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I am always saying, 'I don't believe in God; I believe in Al Pacino.' And that's true. If I ever…
— Javier Bardem
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There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California.
— Edward Abbey
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Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
— Dave Barry
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I look crazy. I know I do. Been true since I was a kid!
— Lynda Barry
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Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
— Marion Barry
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Becoming emancipated at 14, my life wasn't normal. I didn't have to go to school, so I didn't. I was…
— Drew Barrymore
See all 4,361 Crazy Quotes »