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Said Quotes by Tommy Cooper
- I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
- A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.
- My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.
- A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too…
- I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
- And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living…
- He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a…
- I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the…
- You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
- So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
- You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was…
More Said Quotes
- Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is… — Richard Bach
- That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'. — Richard Armour
- That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world, both blessed… — Timothy Garton Ash
- If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the… — Arthur Ashe
- The book that convinced me I wanted to be a writer was 'Crime and Punishment'. I put the thing down after reading… — Paul Auster
- My mother always said I must be part Mongolian because of my lotus-pale complexion and squid-ink black hair. — Diane Ackerman
- I came to the conclusion months ago, and I said it to members of Congress, that the only way people are going… — David Axelrod
- I have a master plan as an artist. I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock. I will work… — Erykah Badu
- Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a… — Russell Baker
- I was in college in Washington, D.C. I did three years full-time. I did all my requirements, and my senior year was… — Alec Baldwin
- American history is longer, larger, more various, more beautiful, and more terrible than anything anyone has ever said about it. — James A. Baldwin
- All of the muscles were gone, so that was a real tough time of rebuilding all of that. But you have a… — Christian Bale