"I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 3…" — Tommy Cooper

"I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 3 days already."

— Tommy Cooper

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29 Quotes by Tommy Cooper

Tommy Cooper has 29 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at…
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave…
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.
My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the…
A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He…
Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's.” “Well you can't say fairer than that then
I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!
And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said…

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More Beer Quotes

This quote is filed under Beer Quotes, one of 1,136 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

High thoughts must have high language. — Aristophanes
Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered. — Wystan Hugh Auden
A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom… — Roseanne Barr
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to… — Dave Barry
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. — Dave Barry
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially… — Dave Barry
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? — Henry Ward Beecher
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,… — Brendan Behan
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. — Robert Benchley
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. — Robert Benchley

See all 1,136 Beer Quotes »