Penis Quotes

116 Penis quotes by 65 unique authors

Calm down, calm down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing. It's the best. -Evan — Superbad
Dammit Beavis, what the hell are you doing? You're not supposed to have your penis out while you're cooking! — Beavis And Butthead
Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about… — Chelsea Handler
You didn't make me a woman! I'm just a man with a mutilated penis! - Mr\Mrs Garrison — South Park
Michael Oher listen to me, all right? I want you to enjoy yourself but if you get a girl pregnant out of wedlock I will… — The Blind Side
I have a penis tattooed on my leg, and high five tattooed on my palm. I don't regret them yet, but I'm sure when my… — Oliver Sykes
My penis no longer works anymore, I blame Wes for it's over use. — Kevin Williamson
I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself. — Dwight Schrute
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. — Robin Williams
Highschool is like a semi-erect penis. It's not THAT hard, but it can still fuck you and if you like it you're gay — Unknown Author
Foo your royal penis is clean — LMFAO
Penis tiny — Drake
Shira: I just pulled a penis out of a Vitamin Water yesterday, so we are cool with penises here. — No Strings Attached (Movie)
My penis is black — Kevin Hart
A penis has a hard life,its family is nuts,its best friend is a pussy, its neighbor is an ass hole and its owner beats him. — Unknown Author
I love penis — Manny Pacquiao
My penis is hard so I fixed it — Unknown Author
Penis is what I love — Kanye West
Wana hear a joke about my penis? oh wait, its to long. wana hear a joke about my vagina? oh wait, you'll never get it. — Abbey
I want Rons big black penis. — Unknown Author

Who Wrote These Penis Quotes

65 authors contributed a total of 116 Penis Quotes, led by these top contributors: