« All Old Quotes · Nikhil Saluja's Page
Old Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
- Math will totally make you look like a slut. Example: You're a 25 year old mother of a 9th grader.
- In the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers, NOW THEY DRINK LIKE THEIR FATHERS.
- Some guys refer to their wife as the old ball 'n chain. I refer to mine as the old nagging cunt.
- No matter how old you are, no matter how bad ass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone....you answer…
- I asked my mom, 'How old were you when I was born?' My mom replied, '23' Me: 'Wow, that's a lot of time we missed…
- When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress.
- HUSBAND, A man who has to grow old alone;
- Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs.
- On his daughter's diaper: There was so much poop. It didn't look like a baby's poop. It looked like a 55-year-old alcoholic took a dump
- Every night when everyone's asleep, I grab my phone and I start reading all our old conversations.
- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- A Woman Never Say: I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
- I just hired a nineteen year-old russian girl with massive tits to babysit my kids. Now, where the fuck am I going to get some…
- Call me old fashioned, but I actually take relationships seriously.
- Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
- Asked an one year old what his name was and he didn't know. What a fucking idiot.
- Warning to 3-5 yrs old: Be careful about everything you say or do. You'll be hearing about it from parents, for the rest of your…
- Men's Three Rules Of Getting Old 1. Never pass a bathroom 2. Never waste a hard-on 3. Never trust a fart
- The British Royal family had to be Gujjus - Nice joint family living under one roof with an old Baa who refuses to die.
- Every time I see 007 get a gadget in an old James Bond movie I'm like, My smart phone has that app.
- Not sure if this 2 year old is trying to break the Guinness world record for breath-holding or drowning.
- Caught my 5 year old playing with my phone and she bought a gun online.
- I'm old enough to be my father.
More Old Quotes
- In Italy the censor is very old and there are many judges and psychiatrists who analyse you. — Dario Argento
- In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. The young they keep out of mischief; to the… — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age. — Aristotle
- I think it's your own choice if you turn from an angry young man to a bitter, old bastard. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- People are so damned afraid that one day they might wake up and discover that they've grown old. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- If I look at my old lyrics, they seem to be full of rage, but empty. There was an emptiness in my… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I've been playing rock and roll since I was 16 years old, and now I have a 16-year-old. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I think when you're 10 years old, it's too much to see something with the threat of death in every episode. Kids… — J. J. Abrams
- It's tough to be a 15- or 16-year-old athlete competing around the country. There's tension, there's media. I had no idea what… — Lance Armstrong
- In every age 'the good old days' were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every… — Brooks Atkinson
- When old people speak it is not because of the sweetness of words in our mouths; it is because we see something… — Chinua Achebe