« All New Quotes · Stephen Colbert's Page
New Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president. ... This past…
- I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward…
- We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans…
- Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a…
- Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones,…
- NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
- I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.
- New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
- A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
- Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
More New Quotes
- Every day is a new opportunity for failure. — Nikhil Saluja
- The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes amounts to… — Hannah Arendt
- Every promise of the soul has innumerable fulfillments; each of its joys ripens into a new want. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
- The Things That Make You Feel Bad, Are The Ones That Will Eventually Go Away, So, You Should Never Give Up Fighting,… — Ritu Ghatourey
- I'm on this amazing new diet where the ladies I sleep with don't invite me to their birthday parties. — Nikhil Saluja
- Don't be afraid of change, because it is leading you to a new beginning. — Joyce Meyer
- The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been… — Albert Einstein
- I feel like a new person. I learned how to deal with people when I wasn't a football player. I always wondered… — Keith Millard