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Humor Quotes by John Alejandro King
- I never met a man who never met a man he didn't like I liked.
- An aphorism and its author aren't joined by a dash, but separated by it.
- Give me a lever, and I shall move the world (oh, and I'll also need a world).
- I'm damned if I do, but I'm only darned if I don't.
- The fact that something is better than sex doesn't mean it's not horrific.
- I said: Please find attached. I never said there was an attachment.
- There's a famous saying: If 99% was good enough, gravity wouldn't work for 14 minutes every day. I did the calculation, and it's actually 14…
- The mightiest of weapons is truth. And everyone knows you're not permitted to enter a Government building with a weapon.
- Any resemblance is coincidentally pure.
- Mind-body dualism.
- Can't we all just coexist???
- You don't drink to drown your sorrows, you drink to give them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
- When Jesus told us to love one another, He never said we had to like it.
- If you can prepare for it, it isn't the worst.
- The camouflage you admire doesn't deserve it.
- The exception grooves the rule.
- America has never lost a war. We just misplaced a couple temporarily.
- Facebook is spy dust for the social media age.
- He who would go viral must first show himself virulent.
- Secret 869119. When searching for a terrorist cell, try to remember the last place you used it.
- Death is not the end. Death is the middle linebacker.
- Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. If people get angry, you can always pretend you were just standing up to…
- No hurry. Take all the time you have.
- If I *don't* love something, is it still OK to set it free?
- To be prepared for the worst *is* the worst.
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More Humor Quotes
- We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. — Aristotle
- Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach. — Aristotle
- Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. — Aristotle
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous. — Aristotle
- The secret to humor is surprise. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about the relationships… — J. J. Abrams
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov
- Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. — Francis of Assisi
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. — Jane Austen