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Humor Quotes by Hussein Nishah
- I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them
- Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
- People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband
- Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
- Laughing is the best medicine but if you are laughing for no reason, you need medicine
- Years of education , solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
- Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
- Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
- Facebook is like boys, once you understand them they change.
- I'd rather leave my house without pants than without my phone.
- That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like 'I got nothing, man.'
- By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.
- How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
- As a joke, I would love to stand in line at ATM machines, and when people put in their PIN, I yell Got it! and…
- Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. You owe me.
- You traded in your iPhone 4 for an extra half inch? Hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same.
- I don't understand people who say they need more Me Time. What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in…
- I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home.
- Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises
- Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated…
- When I compliment you, I compliment myself, because I am who I associate with.
- When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
- I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.
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More Humor Quotes
- We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. — Aristotle
- Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach. — Aristotle
- Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. — Aristotle
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous. — Aristotle
- The secret to humor is surprise. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about the relationships… — J. J. Abrams
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov
- Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. — Francis of Assisi
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. — Jane Austen