Guy Quotes

8437 quotes by 4261 authors

All you have to do is play better than the other guy and things go well. If you don't play better than the other players… — Bill Parcells
That awkward moment when you walk into a public restroom and the guy at the urinal has his shorts to his ankles and his hands… — Brian Zilinek
Brasky's semen can form into a liquid human. Like that guy from Terminator 2. — Bill Brasky
I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit… — Bill Engvall
So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who play golf, you know the… — Bill Engvall
This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says 'you like baseball?' I said, 'Oh, man, I love baseball.' So he goes… — Bill Engvall
You know what I like about George Bush? He makes me feel like I could be president, too. No, he does. He's like the first… — Bill Burr
Now, if they were just honest about it and were like, 'Look, this guy's going to die in, like, seven or eight minutes; I'm going… — Bill Burr
Nothing makes a white guy feel safer than seeing a trolly, you never feel youre gonna get fucked up when youre around a trolly. — Bill Burr
The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for… — Bill Burr
If he can't except me smoking weed and drinking then I gotta drop his ass. Im'a do me no matter what! My blunts come first.… — Victor Reyes
Let's just say the government is telling the truth and I'm the boss, let's just say the government is telling the truth and this guy… — John Gotti
How much nonsense and lies you gonna get away with this guy before he really does do something with your people? You've gotta be taken… — John Gotti
What do you do when you Find yourself crying because the guy you turly thought you hated said they hated you to? — Krisee Ellis
I'm gonna go kill this guy and get my daughter. Or go get my daughter and kill this guy. Or kill all of 'em! — John Mcclane
What is this guy, a hamster? — John Mcclane
You will know you found your dream guy/girl when you wake up from that dream and they are still by your side — VeTheHitmaker
Girl's are absolutely worse than guys. I don't care what anyone says. You piss a guy off he may say something mean about you but… — Jazmin Garcia
I have never really thought of him as a person, either....A guy whose strings were broken, who didnt feel the root of his leaves of… — John Green
Girl Logic: Maybe if I wear this shirt that shows my boobs I'll meet a nice guy who wants me for my personality. — Seth Rogan

Who Wrote These Guy Quotes

4,261 authors contributed a total of 8,437 Guy Quotes, led by these top contributors: