« All God Quotes · Woody Allen's Page
God Quotes by Woody Allen
- If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
- If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
- To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
- Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
- Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
- The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
- Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
- My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
- If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this…
- Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job.…
- Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
- What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be…
- Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
- If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
- How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
- God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
- God, you Jews are truly exotic." Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that…
- The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a…
- If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
- If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
- Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
- If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is…
- As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
- I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
More God Quotes
- Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god. — Aristotle
- A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler… — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus;… — Karen Armstrong
- Yes, all fundamentalists feel that in a secular society, God has been relegated to the margin, to the periphery and they are… — Karen Armstrong
- I was a lousy nun. I couldn't do it. I couldn't find God. It wasn't suitable for me. It is suitable for… — Karen Armstrong
- Whatever man uses without the fear of God, whatever he applies to the mere gratifying of his flesh, cannot fail to operate… — Johann Arndt
- If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the… — Arthur Ashe
- To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. — Isaac Asimov
- If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men… — Francis of Assisi
- I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. — Francis of Assisi
- It is not fitting, when one is in God's service, to have a gloomy face or a chilling look. — Francis of Assisi