« All Funny Life Quotes · Bill Watterson's Page
Funny Life Quotes by Bill Watterson
- The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
- God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
- Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
- If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
- Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.
- I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
- If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
- The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
- If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
More Funny Life Quotes
- The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. — Lucille Ball
- You live and learn. At any rate, you live. — Douglas Adams
- I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. — Douglas Adams
- Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. — Dave Barry
- The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time. — John Barrymore
- Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry. — George Ade
- A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. — Yogi Berra
- Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. — Yogi Berra
- A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. — Josh Billings
- A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. — Erma Bombeck
- One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a… — Erma Bombeck
- If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. — Erma Bombeck