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Funny Facebook Status Quotes by Will Ferrell
- I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato
- In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
- Every gay guys GPS system would tell him to Go straight. haha
- Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
- Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
- It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's four months away from December and no one gives…
More Funny Facebook Status Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. — Joey Adams
- You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
- Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett
- Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. — Josh Billings
- All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is… — Erma Bombeck
- Who so loves believes the impossible. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. — George Burns
- A man is known by the company his mind keeps. — Thomas Bailey Aldrich
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark. — George Carlin