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Funny Quotes by P.G. Wodehouse
- Flowers are happy things.
- Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
- It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
- I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
- There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
- The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
- Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
- Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
- Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
- If he had a mind, there was something on it.
- There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.
- I always advise people never to give advice.
- You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
- Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?
- When you're alone you don't do much laughing.
- I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.
- Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.
- It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give…
- As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.
- Hugo?’ ‘Millicent?’ ‘Is that you?’ ‘Yes. Is that you?’ ‘Yes.’ Anything in the nature of misunderstanding was cleared away. It was both of them.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams