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From Quotes by Green Monk
- I could lose so much weight if I just switched to red wine from eight beers.
- I'm not racist. I date women from other different races if they have pink nipples.
- My hands never pain when typing message for you.. But my heart always pain when there is no reply from you.
- A little ego is good. It prevents you from making a complete fool of yourself. But a little more ego has the exact opposite effect!
- I just heard a strange noise coming from downstairs. I refuse to say Who's there? Those people always die.
- My girl doesn't have to dress up to impress me , given what she dressing up from is her birthday suit
- Many people dying from natural causes. Forget Aids and Cancer, we need a cure for natural causes.
- Running away from any problem only increases the distance from a solution.
- LOVE surely comes from the heart....but I suspect that even the BOOBS in front contribute a lot...
- He used to think that he was fantastic in bed until he discovered that all his girlfriends suffered from asthma................
- I Met Her On Internet......it was Love from first click!
- When people ask you where you're from, just mumble Internet
- Females need to search for a man with goals and ambition because 10 years from now swag isnt gonna pay your bills .
- A gorgeous blonde found an old lamp and gently stroked it. I wonder if a genie will come, she mused. From inside the lamp, a…
- Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, Suck what?
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- What better way to recover from your exhausting workout session than to skip it and nap instead.
- I swapped my neighbor's newspaper with last years newspaper from the same date. He didn't even notice!
- Eating pumpkin cheesecake is like getting a blowjob from a vagina.
- You can tell a lot about a person from what they purchase at Wal-Mart. My purchase says that I don't shower or wipe my ass.
More From Quotes
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- From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me. — Ludovico Ariosto
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- Haiti, Haiti, the further I am from you, the less I breathe. Haiti, I love you, and I will love you always.… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide