Farts Quotes

56 Farts quotes by 45 unique authors

They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on… — Michael Jackson
As soon as somebody farts around me, I think it's hilarious. This is something my brothers did that now the boys at work are obsessed… — Jennifer Lawrence
If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And… — Megan Fox
A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts — Frank Skinner
The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that! — Jessica Simpson
I have a playlist of farts on my phone. — Lena Headey
I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts. — John Entwistle
It having been a very cold night last night I had got some cold, and so in pain by wind, and a sure precursor of… — Samuel Pepys
Modern music is three farts and a raspberry, orchestrated. — John Barbirolli
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. — Peter Kreeft
So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled… — Mark Forsyth
My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts. — Unknown Author
If the game is run properly as a professional game, you do not need 57 old farts running rugby. — Will Carling
Because nitrous oxide [released by nitrate-fertilised soil] is 296 times stronger than COâ‚‚ at global warming and methane [cow farts] is about 26 times as… — Thom Hartmann
Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote… — George Clooney
At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote. — Craig Benzine
Clichés are static, the emotion behind them long spent. If you are tempted to use them, here is a saying of my mother’s: Fang pi… — Amy Tan
Freedom, Truth, Honour — you could rattle off a hundred such words and behind every one of them would gather a thousand punks, pompous little… — Hunter S. Thompson
I love baseball. I'll probably end up one of those old farts who go to spring training in Florida every year and drive from game… — Steve Earle
There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact. — Robert Plant
I am happy everywhere except in places where I see glitz and rich farts. I am happiest in Brooklyn, where the concentration of rich farts… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
I once lay in a white hospital for the dying and the dying self, where some god pissed a rain of reason to make things… — Charles Bukowski
Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts. — Wystan Hugh Auden
Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in… — Paul Auster
Purple light passed over the paper, but nothing happened. "Next!" Amy said. She was sure the man in black was going to burst in on… — Rick Riordan

Who Wrote These Farts Quotes

45 authors contributed a total of 56 Farts Quotes, led by these top contributors: