Farts Quotes

56 Farts quotes by 45 unique authors

A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this. — Robert Bly
Just let them sit in the goddam sun. But the world won't let them because there's nothing more dangerous than letting old farts sit in… — Frank McCourt
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next… — George Lopez
You're all mad for words. Words are just farts from a lot of fools who have swallowed too many books. Give me things! — Robertson Davies
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. — Tina Fey
There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most… — Tina Fey
I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things." "Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her tray. "And jumping… — Jay Asher
Have you been sniffing fairy farts? — Kim Harrison
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. God designed your body's plumbing system. God designed an ostrich. If He didn't do it,… — Peter Kreeft
There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is… — Alan Bennett
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat. — Nikhil Saluja
I farted:P XDDDD — Patience
Omfg xD soo I farted this morning.. and my mom said it was like a fart bubble.. xD cuz I farted then I went upstairs… — Patience
According to this farts smell and taste like rainbows — Killa
My farts smell like they shit their pants. — Green Monk
I think the stomach is the most intelligent part of the body,Its smart enough to send the burps to the mouth and farts to the… — Green Monk
You dont want to mess with the ROCK and SOCK connection. Who are you two popcorn farts? — The Rock
(hums) you see something you like? (chuckles) you better keep looking at the man in the mirror... bro I know I got a bangin' body.… — Unknown Author
The awkward moment when someone next to you farts! — Emily
Few things make me sadder than when someone farts on a plane and I can't escape it... — Olivia Munn
Kindergarten teacher trying to explain the definition of the word definitely. To make sure, she asks the students to use the word in a sentence.… — Sharlene05
THE LOWEST FARTS B MORE STANKER THEN THE LOUD FARTS...THEN THINKING IT'S GONNA BE LOW THEN IT COMES OUT LOUD... — Renneec
If one eats beans, he farts to kill — Unknown Author
Kids are like farts. You dont mind your own, but other peoples are unbearable. — Emalie Newhall
Relationships are like farts... If you push too hard things will get messy. — Trent Thomas

Who Wrote These Farts Quotes

45 authors contributed a total of 56 Farts Quotes, led by these top contributors: