Comedy Writing Quotes by Woody Allen

More Quotes by Woody Allen

Woody Allen has 447 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
• The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
• I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
• If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
• I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
• I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
• If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
• Eighty percent of success is showing up.
• Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
• Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
• I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
• In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

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