Humourous Quote by Carsten Stroud

“The weed-whacker dad was helping his kid whack weeds. Dad was blitzed to the eyeballs on beer, and the kid was waving the weed…

— Carsten Stroud

“There was a sharp knock on the front door and being that it was a flimsy piece of shit the thing creaked and opened…

— James Cox

“Dad leapt over the garden wall instead of going through the gate. Sadly he didn‘t do himself a severe injury, and so he lives…

— Louise Rennison

“Bye Bye , Father,' I said as the confessional door clicked shut behind me, 'Ah's' eyes following me, wondering, I suppose, what He'd been…

— Patrick McCabe

“I came home to find him propped up on a stack of pillows, sipping blood through a crazy straw (because it amused Zeb) and…

— Molly Harper

“Tate opened another beer. He was glad he had several. He held up the beer to his image in the mirror. “To bastards everywhere!”…

— Diana Palmer

“Tonight, I decided to take a stroll down to my local liquor store. Maybe I’ll find a refreshment to wash down this full moon.…

— Brandon Villasenor

“My phone buzzed and I pulled it from my pocket. Luke: 10 minutes, fucker, then I’ll be tying your dick to the exhaust of…

— Lesley Jones

“So I'm smoking in the house, Mother said. And Bobbie's got a dog in her room. And your son Will's got an Injun in…

— Tom Spanbauer

“Billy now leaned over that parapat, looked down at all the people moving hither and yon. They were jerky little scissors. They were a…

— Kurt Vonnegut Jr

“Luke picked up a piece of paper lying on the seat. "Camden Hills Avenue in the Badlands Golf Club." Luke chuckled. "Going to find…

— Amanda Carlson

“Anyway, I went home and searched all of my father’s pockets and drawers until I found some weed. The revelation that my dad was…

— Amy Poehler