""Hi. You know with everything going down in……" — Bill Maher

""Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: "How the Grinch Stole the Election". And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we? Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot, But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not. I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking, By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking. Election Day came and the voting was close, At one point the Grinch even started to boast, 'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed, Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane. But was he the winner, hey not so fast-- Al Gore called him up and said, "Grinch, kiss my ass!" The race was too tight to say who was elected, The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected. All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess, But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess, Were too senile to vote for the"

Bill Maher

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