All Scott Adams Quotes
- If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy. Disliked
- Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto Dance
- Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there Fantasy
- Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to… Buy
- I should have written that down. - Dilbert Dilbert
- What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If it means to do what you think you ought to do, then you’re doing that… Accept
- I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero. Approach
- The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will… All
- When did ignorance become a point of view? Atheism
- The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to… Best
- If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. Assassin
- Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or… Ask
- Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night. Dilbert
- Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve. Achieve
- The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong. Blamed
- Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster. Credit
- There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color. Application
- The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol. Alcohol
- Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who… Caring
- When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater. Choke
- If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts. All
- You can change only what people know, not what they do. Change
- The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh. Delusion
- Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness. Awareness
- If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke.… Broke