All Scott Adams Quotes
- There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six… Bother
- I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable. Happy
- I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination. Aggravation
- Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company. Company
- You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he… Argue
- If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. Any
- The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. Base
- You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. General
- Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart. Business
- When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable. Bad
- Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive. Became
- I get mail; therefore I am. Get Mail
- I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately. Attraction
- I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else. All
- I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing. Hated
- I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information. Information
- I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.' Crowded
- I'm primarily just an investor. Funny
- I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet. Inspirational
- Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams. Form
- The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it. Computer
- The longer you work here, diverse it gets. Diverse
- The only risk of failure is promotion. Failure
- I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over… Administrative
- I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated… Complaining